Feb 28

This is chapter 7 of my travel experience to Pune, India. This is where I begin my trip home. You should probably start reading this from Chapter 1.

I’ve just spent 5 days in Pune, India. I’m ready to go home. My itinerary is:

  • Pune to Delhi
  • Delhi to Chicago
  • Chicago to San Francisco

One cool aspect of this trip is that I actually flew a complete revolution around the entire planet. All 25,000 miles of it. I left San Francisco going westbound to Pune. On my way home I flew eastbound and completed my circumference around the globe.

My flight departed Pune at 6:20pm and was scheduled to land in Delhi at 8:35pm. My connecting flight is on American Airlines and it departs at 12:10am. 3.5 hour layover. Plenty of time for a connecting flight, right? If you’ve been following along, you know better. My flight to Delhi was pretty uneventful. I know better than to let a positive thought cross my head, so I anticipate the worst. However, we land without incident and on time. Okay, now India’s just toying with me.

Anywhere else in the world, transferring from a domestic flight to an international flight is a very easy process for the traveler. You get off your plane and walk, or take the tram, to the International terminal and wait for your plane to board. Your bags magically get transferred to the correct airplanes, and it might take you at most 10 minutes to get to the other terminal. Probably less time. Not so in India.

As I hop off the plane and load up onto our bus, we’re driven to the terminal where we need to pickup out bags, before we can be shuttled over to the international terminal. Your bags don’t just auto-magically get transferred to you new plane. You need to make that happen. I ask myself, what about security? Then it dawns on me. If I can access my bag that has been through the security at the Pune airport, I’m pretty sure I’ll have to run through security again here in Delhi.

The carousel starts up about 9:05pm and my bag is one of the first off. Yee-haw. I am looking for a sign such as “Tram to International Terminal” or “International Gates” but I find nothing. I ask the guy at the information booth how I get to the International terminal.

“You will have to take the International terminal bus. It departs here every hour, on the hour.”

I look down at my watch. 9:15pm.

“So I just missed the bus? I need to wait here for another 45 minutes before the next bus comes?”

“Yes, sir.”

“I’m sure I’m not the first to say this, but that sucks. Certainly there is another way for me to get to the International terminal?”

“No, sir. This is it. If you want to catch some sleep, you can rest on the chairs over here. I will be sure to wake you when the bus arrives.”

“You know what I’d like to catch more than sleep? My flight. I’m guessing that since I have my luggage in hand again, there will be another security lineup, correct?”

“Yes, sir. But don’t worry, you still have plenty of time. You will make your flight.”

My Spidey-sense is tingling. I have the impression that he’s just saying this since he’ll never see me ever again once I hop on that bus. Since I don’t have any choices here, I find a seat and wait for the bus to arrive at 10pm. It promptly arrives and I see people making their way over to the door to get onto the bus. The bus was probably built in 1950 … 1960 at the latest. There’s only a limited amount of room beneath the bus for luggage so once that fills up, they just start piling it inside the bus with the passengers. I’m still way at the back of the line and start wondering if there will still be room for myself and my luggage. There’s that awful feeling again.

As I’m wondering if I’m going to make it onto this bus, I see a bald Australian man being escorted to the front of the line and immediately put on the bus. Hmmm. Must have a connector that he’s going to miss. Wait a minute. We’re all going on the same bus. What difference does it make what order you load yourself onto it? Uhh, none.

Note to self: He’s done this many times before and knows how to work the system. Keep an eye on baldy.

I manage to make it on the bus. There’s no room under the bus so I walk up the stairs into the cabin area. There’s a pile, yes, a pile, of luggage as tall as me that people are crawling over to get to a seat. Of course, since we’re at the end of the line, there are no more seats left. I struggle and pull my luggage over the pile and let it flop over onto the other side. I just leave it there and it fits right in with the rest of the bags. The bus pulls away at 10:30. It takes 30 minutes for the entire loading process. Then, it’s a 15 minute bus ride, a very bumpy bus ride, to the International terminal. Now I know why this bus only comes once an hour.

Normally, in any other part of the civilized world, when you are transfered to a connecting flight you just pickup and go to the next gate. Not so in India. Nope. The bus is trying to drive up to the passenger drop-off area in front of the International terminal. No different than somebody who drove to the airport and wanted to go directly to the International terminal. It’s almost 11pm and there are thousands of people outside the terminal all trying to get in through one of the seven doors. Thousands of people. The bus can’t get very close to the terminal because the street is covered with people, their luggage, and all the push carts. So our bus just stops on the road and starts unloading us.

“Excuse, me. I have a connecting flight. Do I stay on the bus so you can drop me off somewhere inside the airport?”, I ask.

“Do you not have a flight?”

“Yes, I do. It’s a connecting flight.”

“Then, yes. You need to go through these doors. Any one will be fine.”

That’s when it dawned on me that there is no such thing as a connecting flight here in India. To them, it’s just another flight starting from scratch. You grab your own bags, they just shuttle you between buildings.

“It’s going to take forever to get through these doors. Is there a priority line, or special entrance for connecting passengers?” I already knew the answer, but had to ask.

“Any one of these doors will be fine, sir.”

“You guys have a lot to learn about air travel, friend. This is outrageous. I arrive a little after 9pm for a connecting flight that departs at 1am, and I’m probably not going to make it. You could stand to learn a lesson or two in the art of efficiency.”

As I’m standing there in disbelief trying to devise a plan of entry, I see my bald Aussie friend being whisked through the crowd up to the entrance, which is guarded by a military man holding an AK-47 assault rifle. Seconds later, he’s in the airport. I keep my eye on his escort now heading back into the crowd. I approach him and before I can say anything to him, he smiles and points to me.

“American Airlines?”

“Yes. Departing at 12:55.” An even larger smile crosses his face.

“You are not going to make your flight.”

“How did my bald friend make his flight?”

“50.” He states without hesitation.

50 rupees is only $1 USD. I whip out a 50 rupee bill.

“No, no. 50 English.”

“I don’t think so. Here’s $10 USD, make it happen.”

I only had $25 USD on me, and I was down to about 70 rupees since I was leaving India. He nods, and asks me to follow him which is not an easy task with how crowded this place is. Also, I’m trying to haul around my laptop and pull-luggage. He’s literally crawling over people and their push carts. He sees me struggling so he calls for a helper by snapping his fingers and whistling. This tiny, thin man who couldn’t have been more than 90 pounds emerges from the crowd, lifts my bag and starts working his way through the crowd. Without my bags, I’m still having a hard time keeping up. Now I’m concerned that this is a scam and these guys are going to disappear into the crowd and make off with my $10 and luggage. Screw it. I start stepping over push carts and over luggage so I can keep up. They were true to their word though. We approach the military guard. No money exchanges hands, but some sort of deal transpired. The military guard parts a hole in the crowd with his AK-47 and allows me to pass. I’m in. And I’ve learned how the system works here here in Delhi.

First thing I have to do is have all the bags I want to check scanned. Of course, there are lines for this. I walk up to the front of the line, inform the security agent that I need to get through quickly because I’m going to miss my flight.

“Nothing I can do.” He says.

I pull out $5 USD, and the next thing I know my bags are being scanned and I’m through. Excellent. They way they secure your bags, is comical. After your checked luggage goes through the scanner the put a single strand of fiberglass tape around your luggage. The kind of tape they might use at Home Depot if you bought 4-5 2×4′s and they wanted to hold them together. You can still easily unzip your luggage, get stuff from your bag and also put stuff in it.

It’s after 11pm and I’ve got two hours until my flight departs. I approach the American Airlines booth and it’s closed. I ask when it will be open for the 12:55 flight.

“We just closed, sir.”

“How can you close, there’s still 2 hours until the flight?”

“Yes, but there is immigration, customs, and security that you still need to go through. You won’t be able to do all of that in only 2 hours.”

“You have got to be kidding me? How long ago did you close?”

“Only 5 minutes ago, sir.”

Haunting memories of my hotel stay in Delhi are still fresh in my mind. I am not spending another night here. No way. The gate agent is female, has a wedding ring, and might have children. I don’t know, but she seems to be a kid person. All week Nancy had been sending me photos of her and the boys on my cell phone which I loved. I open my phone to the last picture Nancy sent me of Alex and Max hugging on the couch.

“I have been away from my family for a long time. See these two boys? They’re waiting for me at home. They are expecting me to walk off this airplane when it lands. I miss them dearly. How do I get on this flight tonight?” She ponders for a few seconds while holding my phone and looking at the picture.

“Do you just have the one bag to check?”

“Yes, just the one. If you can check my bag, I will take care of the rest. I will make it to the plane before they close the doors. I just need you to check my bags. I’ll take care of the rest. Please.”

“I can’t promise that they’ll wait for you, so you must hurry. Okay, let me have your bag.” Hot damn!! I could have kissed her when I heard those words. Having adorable kids pays off.

Customs has an area for you to fill out the forms. Yes, you fill out a customs form when you leave this country as well as entering it! The form asks what you are taking out, etc. They have a single long line that then breaks out into 8 smaller lines for each of the agents. I approach the security guard, slip him $5 USD and I just bypassed the long line. I still have to wait in the short lines though.

Immigration is next and has 8 desks all with lines of 200 or more people in them. I can’t pay the immigration agents because they’re behind their little desks and not accessible. However, I go to the front of the line and offer $5 USD to a family and they let me go next. Nice. Next, it’s off to security. At this rate I should have no problem making my flight. Dammit, a positive thought. That’s going to cost me.

There are 4 security lines. All long. Once you get through the first long line, you can choose between 6 different lines to go through the metal detectors and have them scan you carry-on baggage. As I’m walking up to the military guard, not security guard, I see my bald Aussie friend in the other line. Weird, he’s waiting in line and not bribing his way through. Odd. I’m down to my last $5 and I have it in my hand. I approach the military guard and ask,

“Good evening. I am about to miss my flight. Is there anyway you could let me through?”

“No.” I pull out my wallet and make it visible to him to show him my intentions.

“Nothing at all?”, I hint.

“No.” Uh, oh. Now what.

If my well-seasoned Aussie traveler is waiting in line, and this guard isn’t going to budge, I guess it’s to the back of the line for me. Crap. As I make my way toward the end of the line I see a man and his wife being escorted to the front of the line. I observe carefully. A short conversation between the military man and the escort ensues. Within a minute, they pass through. Their escort turns around and heads back in my direction. Does he work with one of the airlines? How did he swing that?

“Excuse me, sir. I couldn’t help but notice you helping that couple through this line. I’m on the verge of missing my flight and would like to know…”

“American Airlines?”, He asks. I’m pretty sure I saw a slight smile too.

“Yes. I’m down to my last $5 USD, and 70 rupees. It’s all yours if you can get me past that guard. Deal?”

“Come with me.”

I give my new friend the money and follow him to the front of the line again. He asks me to wait about 10 paces back as he approaches the guard and has a private conversation. God knows what they talked about. Personally, I didn’t care. I was just waiting for the hand gesture to allow me to pass through.

“Okay, sir. Please, quickly!”

Through I went. It still took some time to go through security. In North America, when you walk through the metal detector, you are only pulled aside and scanned if the detector goes off. Not in India. Everyone goes through the detector, and stands on a crate while the security not only scans you, but … uh, pats you down. Pronounce the next line with the voice of Mickey Mouse.

“Hi, Pluto!!” Yikes.

I can see my gate as I’m being patted down. There at the gate is the American Airlines agent that cut me some slack and checked my bags. I can see her scanning the crowd. The security guard should have bought me breakfast they way he man-handled me, but I am focused on my goal. I sprint through the crowds and race to my gate. The gate agent spots me, smiles and cheers me on.

“I knew you would make it! Come on!”

I give her the boarding pass she printed out for me, smile and say thanks.

“You’re children should be most excited to see you.”, she says as she hands me back my boarding pass.

“And I shall let them know you helped make that happen. Again, thank you.” After all, she is the only one that I didn’t have to offer any money too.

Check out the next chapter to see how the rest of this journey goes. The fun just never ends for me on this adventure!

Written by Terry Blanchard \\ tags: , ,

Feb 26

I am shopping around for a publisher to this novel about my travel experience to and from India. It really is an incredible story. How I managed to not end my life during this escapade is beyond me. Start reading from the beginning at Part 1.

Chapter 5 left off with me finally touching down and getting off the plane in Pune, India. I mentioned just how small the Pune airport is. As soon as you walk out the front door, there is only one door, you are surrounded by drivers all holding their signs. There’s easily over 100 of them and trying to find your sign isn’t an easy task. I don’t see any signs with my name or company logo. Great. I eventually see an NVIDIA sign with my name on it and meet my driver Ayyaz. As we leave the airport, the poverty is right in your face. It’s heart-breaking to see people and their families living on the side of the roads in little tin shacks. It’s one thing to see this in National Geographic, quite another to be driving through it first-hand.

Driving in India is a brand new experience. It’s now clear to me why a driver has been assigned to me instead of my renting a car and driving myself. The concept of lanes, and direction don’t exist here. It’s a free-for-all. It’s chaos. Yet somehow, they make it work.

This isn't rush hour, it's every hour. Notice that there are no traffic lights or stop signs.

The horn in North America is used as a warning, or an alert. In India, they use it to let other drivers know where they are. On our 20 minute trip from the airport to the office, Ayyaz used his horn more times then I have ever used a horn in my entire life. Not 5 seconds goes by without him tapping on the horn, either passing another vehicle, when another vehicle merges onto our road. Note I didn’t say merge into our lane. Remember, those don’t exist here. We all share a common piece of pavement or dirt.

I arrive at the office and meet a bunch of people. I’m tired, unshaven, stinky, and barely functional. I call it a day and leave around 4pm. Ayyaz is waiting for me as I leave the building. Off to the hotel. I check into the Quality Inn Centurion. Much nicer than the hole I stayed at in Delhi. No visible holes in any walls and the marble floors provide me with comfort. I enter my room, crawl right into bed and sleep for 14 hours straight.

One little tidbit I’ve been holding back from through this epic tale, is that neither my cell phone or Blackberry are working outside of the USA. They are picking up the local carriers, I just can’t receive or make any outgoing calls. Cingular, my cell phone carrier, tells me that I was suppose to call before leaving the US so they could activate my International capabilities. They flip some magical switch, tell me to remove the battery and SIM card, put them back in and I should be good to go. All very intuitive … not. My Blackberry starts working after a similar procedure. Oh, yeah. The Internet connection in my room doesn’t work and the hotel is completely booked so I can’t change rooms. I’m really not digging India. Not at all.

The actual visit is very productive and I’m really happy with my new team. They’re a good bunch. I tell them that I am taking them out for lunch every day at places they recommend. I’m buying. I love Indian food and they took me to some great places. “Veg, or no Veg?” is how every discussion starts off when deciding where to eat. Vegetarian only, or places that also serve meat. You won’t find a Morton’s Steak House here, but there’s lot’s of chicken and lamb. Plenty of Asian restaurants too. I know not to drink any water other than bottled water, which they must bring un-opened to your table. The food was fantastic

Wednesday morning I wake up in my hotel room and go the bathroom to brush my teeth. I flip on the tap to rinse my brush. Nothing happens. Just this gurgling sound. A very unpleasant gurgling sound. 5 seconds later this brown sludge comes spewing out. Nothing brown from a tap can be good for you. I think to myself, I’ve been…

  • Rinsing my toothbrush all week from this sink
  • Rinsing my mouth with the water from this tap after brushing my teeth
  • Rinsing my retainer in this sink

I think this is where I got sick. All day Wednesday, and for the following two weeks, I couldn’t stray further than a 30 second sprint from a restroom. My stomach felt like I swallowed military-grade plutonium, or that I had a bleeding ulcer. I can’t wait to go home.

Oh, no. There it is again. That sounds like something Terry really wants. I will be punished for this again. Read about my flight back to the States starting in Part 7.

Written by Terry Blanchard \\ tags: , ,

Feb 25

This blog is so long, it’s really a book. You can’t start reading a book from the center, so don’t start reading this blog from the center. Start out at Part 1.

I slept for five hours. There was no way in hell I was showering, so I just changed my clothes, and caught the 5:30am shuttle to the domestic terminal. I’m off to Sahara Air to talk with Mr. Rishi about my flight to Pune. At least, that’s what the instructions from Deepok stated.

“I’m sorry, but there is no Mr. Rishi that works here.” Hmmm. Well, Deepok did say I was rescheduled on Jet Airways, he must be over there. If not, he told me I was confirmed on their 7:55am flight so I’m sure I can just show them my passport and all with be good. I hop over a few counters to Jet Airways. After a short 5 minute wait, I explain to the agent that I am confirmed on their 7:55am flight, but the Cathay Agent was unable to print my ticket.

“No, sir. No Mr. Rishi works here that I am aware of.”

“Whatever. Here’s my passport, I am confirmed on your 7:55am flight. Cathay had issues re-printing the ticket, but assured me I was confirmed on this flight.”

“That reservation was cancelled. Would you like to buy a ticket?”

“Uh, no. I don’t want to buy a ticket. I was booked on this flight by Cathay Pacific because they made me miss my connector. I’ve already paid for this flight and simply want you to fulfill that agreement.”

She doesn’t budge. Buy a ticket or get out of her line. Since Sahara Air was my original connector, they must be the ones who needed to coordinate this with Jet. Sounds a lot like my friend who lost his baggage on Air India, huh? I walk back to Sahara and explain the situation again. She doesn’t have a clue. I’m just about to blow up when I feel someone tapping on my shoulder.

“Are you Mr. Blanchard?”, the man in the purple Cathay Pacific jacket asks.

“Let me guess, Mr. Rishi?”

“Yes, sir. Follow me please.”

Cathay Pacific does not have a booth at the domestic terminal. They are only at the International terminal. So let’s put this scene into perspective. Mr. Rishi, had to find me at the terminal. Imagine if I asked you to go to your airport, didn’t tell you which gate, or airline to find me at, and you have no idea what I look like. I just said, I will be at this airport at 6am, meet me there. Are you frickin’ kidding me!

I was probably the only white guy there, so maybe it wasn’t such a tall order. Mr. Rishi works his magic and gets me back on my confirmed flight. Great, let’s go check-in. I stand in line at Jet Airways and the lady asks me how many bags I’m checking. Just one. I place my luggage in between the counter, on the scale and she wraps the sticker around my bag.

“Okay, sir. Now you need to stand in the line beside you so we can put your bag on the conveyor.”

I stare in disbelief. This has to be a joke. Where are the cameras. Ha, ha. Very funny everyone. Jokes over. She stares back at me and speaks slower, as if I didn’t understand her the first time.

“Help me understand this. I stood in this line for 10 minutes so you could check me in. This is a one-step process. You printed my boarding pass, asked me how many bags I had to check-in, and even put the sticker around my bag, and can clearly see how much it weighs on this scale. They conveyor belt is right behind you. Now you want me to go stand in this other line so I can put my luggage on this very same scale so the person beside you can put it on the conveyor belt. Can you see where I have a problem with this? Why is there a separate line for the most simple step of the check-in process?”

“I’m sorry, sir. But that’s just how it works.”

“First, you’ve failed to see the problem in my first statement. Second, you have resigned yourself to ‘That’s just how it works’ mentality without really thinking it through. It is clear to me you are not an intelligent, or logical person with any common sense. Now, I will do the same.”

If I were in the United States, my next actions surely would have attracted 50 or more TSA agents. All wielding their weapons pointed at each of my vital organs. But I’m not in the United States. I’m in India, and I’ve had enough of this crap.

I pickup my bag, walk over the scale behind the counter, and put it on the conveyor belt myself. It disappears behind the magic curtain and I dust off my hands. I smile at the gate agent, walk back over the scale and head to my gate.

“Next, please!”, I cheerfully announce to the people in line.

I haven’t used the bathroom since I left my house in San Jose. 56 hours have passed and I really need to sit on the throne. I head over to the bathroom and look for a toilet. I see the trough for urinating in, but no toilets. What the hell? They must be doing renovations here (seems highly unlikely given the state of this hell hole) because I see lot’s of holes in the ground. Dude, no way. Yes way, Terry. Those are the toilets. Holes in the ground that you squat over. No privacy, and worst of all, no toilet paper. If I’ve held it in for 56 hours, I can certainly wait another 30 minutes for the plane.

We all hop on the bus that drives you out on the tarmac to our plane. I make a dash for the lavatory while everyone boards. Man, I feel sorry for the poor soul who used that lavatory after me. Phew!

We start rolling at 7:55am precisely. “Thank, god!”, I mumble under my breath.

Uh, oh. There’s that thought again. Terry, what have we taught you about positive thoughts. You must be punished for such evil thinking.

Delhi only has four runways, pretty small for an International airport. However, we taxi for 15 minutes. We make so many turns I can’t help but think our pilot and co-pilot are lost. 15 minutes!! Here’s an odd thing. There are people who actually live in between the runways. They have little shacks with tin roofs that stand a few feet tall. We passed by one guy out for his morning pee. We finally pull up beside the runway. We stop for almost 5 more minutes. I’ve got a Window seat, and there’s no landing traffic holding us up. Nothing is taking off since we’re first in line. What is going on.

“Ladies and gentlemen. This is Captain. Much apologies for the delay. The military is inspecting the runway because VIP is landing. We should be ready for departure in a few minutes. Thank you.”

Sure enough, I see a few military jeeps patrolling the runway looking for god only knows what. The VIP plane lands, no bomb or explosion sounds are heard and we taxi on the the active runway. Finally, I’m on my way to Pune. Pune is a 2 hour flight south of Delhi. We’re 25 minutes behind schedule. No big. I’ve seen worse. That’s not as positive as some of my earlier thoughts, but it was still kind of positive wasn’t it. Terry, when will you ever learn? How about right now?

Most of you know that I am a licensed pilot. As we start our descent into Pune I immediately recognize the holding pattern. 1 minute turn, followed by a two minute leg. Repeat. After our 4th or 5th lap in the hold, our Captain keys up the cabin microphone again.

“We should be landing in 15 minutes. Pune airport is conducting some exercises right now. Thank you.”

Exercises? I know what it costs an airline every time they complete a lap in the pattern. A 737 burns about 5000 pounds of fuel every hour in cruise. Jet engines are designed to run efficiently up in the flight levels, 30,000 ft. or higher. They are not as efficient in the lower altitudes. Let’s cut that number in half to 2500 lbs/hr and do a little math:

  • 20 minutes in the holding pattern or 33% of an hour.
  • 33% of 2500 = 825 lbs of fuel spent.
  • Jet A fuel weighs 6.84 lbs per gallon.
  • 825 divided by 6.84 = 120 gallons of fuel spent.
  • A gallon of Jet A costs approximately $5.00 a gallon, at the time of writing.
  • 120 gallons times $5.00 a gallon = $600.00

Jet Airways just lost $600.00 because the Pune airport was running exercises. They knew we were coming. We were a little late, but still. No airport in North America can halt all commercial air traffic from landing because of “exercises.” They would have every airline company all over them for a stunt like that. Apparently, not the case in India.

Finally, we land. I made it. I frickin made it. I left Friday night and just landed in Pune Monday afternoon. As soon as you step off the plane, you are greeted with this beautiful garden that is constantly manicured. The picture on the right prevents you from taking any pictures of this garden. I laugh and shake my head. Pune has a really tiny airport. The 737 that flew us here is larger than the airport terminal. No, I am not exaggerating. There is one baggage belt, and it’s just a circle. You can see the guys standing beside the building unloading the bags onto the carousel. After the baggage carousel, you exit the door. That’s it, you just left the airport.

That’s enough for this chapter. My flight back isn’t much better. If you’ve got the stamina, or just enjoy laughing at my expense, then read on to Part 6.

Written by Terry Blanchard \\ tags: , ,

Feb 24

This blog is so long, it’s really a book. You can’t start reading a book from the center, so don’t start reading this blog from the center. Start out at Part 1.

I slept for five hours. There was no way in hell I was showering, so I just changed my clothes, and caught the 5:30am shuttle to the domestic terminal. I’m off to Sahara Air to talk with Mr. Rishi about my flight to Pune. At least, that’s what the instructions from Deepok stated.

“I’m sorry, but there is no Mr. Rishi that works here.” Hmmm. Well, Deepok did say I was rescheduled on Jet Airways, he must be over there. If not, he told me I was confirmed on their 7:55am flight so I’m sure I can just show them my passport and all with be good. I hop over a few counters to Jet Airways. After a short 5 minute wait, I explain to the agent that I am confirmed on their 7:55am flight, but the Cathay Agent was unable to print my ticket.

“No, sir. No Mr. Rishi works here that I am aware of.”

“Whatever. Here’s my passport, I am confirmed on your 7:55am flight. Cathay had issues re-printing the ticket, but assured me I was confirmed on this flight.”

“That reservation was cancelled. Would you like to buy a ticket?”

“Uh, no. I don’t want to buy a ticket. I was booked on this flight by Cathay Pacific because they made me miss my connector. I’ve already paid for this flight and simply want you to fulfill that agreement.”

She doesn’t budge. Buy a ticket or get out of her line. Since Sahara Air was my original connector, they must be the ones who needed to coordinate this with Jet. Sounds a lot like my friend who lost his baggage on Air India, huh? I walk back to Sahara and explain the situation again. She doesn’t have a clue. I’m just about to blow up when I feel someone tapping on my shoulder.

“Are you Mr. Blanchard?”, the man in the purple Cathay Pacific jacket asks.

“Let me guess, Mr. Rishi?”

“Yes, sir. Follow me please.”

Cathay Pacific does not have a booth at the domestic terminal. They only have one at the International terminal. So let’s put this scene into perspective. Mr. Rishi, had to find me at the terminal. Imagine if I asked you to go to your airport, didn’t tell you which gate, or airline to find me at, and you have no idea what I look like. I just said, I will be at this airport at 6am, meet me there. Are you frickin’ kidding me!

I was probably the only white guy there, so maybe it wasn’t such a tall order. Mr. Rishi works his magic and gets me back on my confirmed flight. Great, let’s go check-in. I stand in line at Jet Airways and the lady asks me how many bags I’m checking. Just one. I place my luggage in between the counter, on the scale and she wraps the sticker around my bag.

“Okay, sir. Now you need to stand in the line beside you so we can put your bag on the conveyor.”

I stare in disbelief. This has to be a joke. Where are the cameras. Ha, ha, very funny everyone. Jokes over. She stares back at me and speaks slower, as if I didn’t understand her the first time.

“Help me understand this. I stood in this line for 10 minutes so you could check me in. This is a one-step process. You printed my boarding pass, asked me how many bags I had to check-in, and even put the sticker around my bag, and you can clearly see how much it weighs on this scale. They conveyor belt is right behind you. Now you want me to go stand in this other line so I can put my luggage on this very same scale so the person beside you can put it on the conveyor belt. Can you see where I have a problem with this? Why is there a separate line for the most simple step of the check-in process?”

“I’m sorry, sir. But that’s just how it works.”

“First, you’ve failed to see the problem in my first statement. Second, you have resigned yourself to ‘That’s just how it works’ mentality without really thinking it through. It is clear to me you are not an intelligent, or logical person with any common sense.”

My next actions surely would have attracted 50 or more TSA agents, all wielding their weapons pointed at each of my vital organs if I were in the United States. But I’m not. I’m in India, and I’ve had enough of this crap.

I pickup my bag, walk over the scale behind the counter, and put it on the conveyor belt myself. It disappears behind the magic curtain and I dust off my hands. I smile at the gate agent, walk back over the scale and head to my gate.

“Next, please!”, I cheerfully announce to the people in line.

I haven’t used the bathroom since I left my house in San Jose. 56 hours have passed and I really need to sit on the throne. I head over to the bathroom and look for a toilet. I see the trough for urinating in, but no toilets. What the hell? They must be doing renovations here (seems highly unlikely given the state of this hell hole) because I see lot’s of holes in the ground.

Oh, god. No way. Yes way, Terry. Those holes in the ground are the toilets. Holes in the ground that you squat over. No privacy, and worst of all, no toilet paper. If I’ve held it for 56 hours, I can wait another 30 minutes for the plane.

We all hop on the bus that drives you out on the tarmac to our plane. I make a dash for the lavatory while everyone boards. Dang, I feel badly for the poor soul who used it next. Phew!

The plane starts rolling at exactly 7:55am. “Thank, god!” I mumble under my breath. Uh, oh. There’s that thought again. Terry, what have we taught you about positive thoughts? You will be punished for such evil thinking. Delhi only has four runways, pretty small for an International airport. However, we taxi for 15 minutes. We’re making so many turns I can’t help but think that our pilot and co-pilot are lost. 15 minutes!! We finally pull up beside the runway. We stop for almost 5 more minutes. I’ve got a window seat, and there’s no landing traffic. Nothing is taking off since we’re first in line. What is going on?

Find out in Part 5 of this harrowing saga.

Written by Terry Blanchard \\ tags: , ,

Feb 21

Trust me, if you haven’t started reading this from Part 1 of this saga, you really should start there.

So I last left you with my Air India flight from Hong Kong to Delhi. I was warned about Delhi from a number of colleagues who have either made this trip before me, or were born and raised in India. An example of one of my conversations with my good friend Vik Singh, originally from India.

“Oh, man. You’re going through Delhi? That’s not good.”

“Why’s that? It’s the capital of your country, right? Shouldn’t it be the most incredible airport the country has to offer?”

Vik can’t stop laughing at this comment. I’m not comforted. When he finally contains his laughter, he says:

“No flights ever leave on time from Delhi. The weather sucks, man. It’s always fogged in. Expect to spend a night in Delhi my friend. Oh, and it’s a shit hole. Also, it is very well known for it’s pick-pockets.”

Lovely. I have six more very similar conversations like this with other people. I may not be a statistics major, but I can clearly see a trend here.

There are no jetways at the Delhi International airport. No, sir. It’s off the plane onto the tarmac and onto a bus. The bus drives us to the terminal and we all unload. Straight to immigration and customs we go. My first impression of the airport is less than stellar. It’s all concrete and I can’t help but feel like I’m in some sort of bus terminal in south Detroit or the Bronx. Very … blah.

They stamp my passport and ask no questions. Suresh and off head off to the baggage claim. No, they don’t automatically forward your luggage to your connecting flight. You have to go get it and go through the whole check-in process again. There is no such thing as a connecting flight in this country. It’s just another, separate flight.

The Cathay agent is waiting for us and he tells Suresh that he will be able to catch a connecting flight tonight to Bangalore. Me, not so lucky. I’ll be spending the night in Delhi and I’m confirmed on a 7:55am flight tomorrow morning to Pune. Suresh immediately speaks up:

“What hotel are you putting him up at?” The Cathay agent spews off the name of some hotel that I can’t recall because I couldn’t pronounce it.

“Not good enough! You’ll have to do much better than that my friend.”, Suresh exclaims. Suresh has obviously been through this more times than I can possibly imagine. He then negotiates for me to stay at the Hilton. Not bad, I think to myself. I owe Suresh a beer.

Off to the Cathay Pacific booth to get our re-printed boarding passes. It’s just the two of us, we’re both confirmed on flights, and I’m staying at the Hilton. Since I’ve been awake for almost 48 hours at this point, I dream of the pillow and soft bed like an oasis. Suresh has his ticket re-printed withing 10 minutes. We exchange business cards. I thank him and wish him well and we talk about contacting each other back in the States. Now it’s just the two Cathay Pacific guys and me. I am there for 45 minutes. I ask what the problem is and he says he is having some issues re-printing my ticket. The problem is that I was not scheduled on a Cathay Pacific connecting flight, I was scheduled on Sahara Air and my new connecting flight is with Jet Airways.

“It shouldn’t be much longer, sir.”

Enter the dragon. A lady now enters the booth with a posse of six. She doesn’t look like anything special, dressed in sweat pants, no makeup and rather bland looking. However, both gentlemen behind the desk immediately perk up and beckon to her every demand. WTF? No longer are they working on re-printing my ticket, which I have patiently been waiting for 45 minutes. Here’s where the American in me pushes aside the Canadian in me.

“Look, I know you’re upset … but you’ll have to wait for these guys to re-print my ticket. I was here first, and as soon as they’re done, I’m sure they can help you out with your needs. Until then, have a seat.”

Yeah, that was fairly polite. Very Canadian. Read on for the American in me to be unleashed.

I’m pretty sure this is when I lost my Hilton reservation. The next thing I know one of the Cathay agents comes out with documents in hand, and escorting her off. Hmmm. Another 20 minutes go by and I’m still waiting.

“Okay, look I don’t know what problem you’re having re-printing my ticket. Let’s do this. I go to the Hilton, get some much needed rest and whenever you get my ticket re-printed, you drop it off at the front desk at the Hilton. Sound like a plan?”

“I would really feel much better if you had the ticket before you left, sir.”

The way this trip has been going, his comment worries me. Fine, I’ll wait.

Another 10 minutes elapse and two more guys enter the booth. I recognize one of them from my flight. Wow, I wonder what took him so long to come up to the booth? Oh, no. There I go asking myself more dangerous questions.

“None of my luggage arrived! All four of my bags did not make it from Hong Kong! We went to the Air India booth and they told me to come here. Where are my bags? What am I going to do? I have nothing!”

“Well, sir I am afraid you must go talk to Air India. They were the carrier that flew you here to Delhi, not Cathay. We simply booked you on Air India because of the missed Cathay flight. There is nothing I can do. I have no knowledge of you bags.”

This makes perfect sense to me. How should the Cathay agent know where the bags from an Air India flight are? Different airline. This wasn’t as clear to our friend missing his bags.

“Well, they told me to come here. You are both pointing your finger at one another. I will never fly Cathay ever again! This is ridiculous!”

I can’t understand this guys logic. What is there not to understand. I’m tired, I’ve had a crappy experience, and this guy is now taking up the time of both the Cathay agents who are trying to explain this to him. Remember earlier when I said the American in me would finally surface. Here he comes.

“Okay pal, you flew on Air India from Hong Kong to Delhi. Not Cathay. Go talk to Air India. Did the Cathay people load your bags on to the Air India flight? No. Did they fly your bags here to Delhi. Not at all. Did Cathay have anything to do with your god damn bags if they even arrived here in Delhi? I don’t think so! Now march on over to Air India and go figure out this dilemma with them. If you still think this is a Cathay Pacific problem, stand the hell behind me and wait your god damn turn!”

“I want a letter from Cathay Pacific that says…”

“BEHIND ME!”, I yell as I point to the floor space behind me. “You’re turn will come.”

“This is preposterous! I demand…”

I turn and tilt my head and give what must have been a very crazy, “I swear to god, I’ll kill you” look. He immediately shuts up and walks out.

Now I’m revved up. I really don’t care if I make the 7:55am flight anymore. I just want to sleep. A pillow, a bed … oh, how I dream of thee.

“Deepok! It’s been almost 2 hours. Let’s face it, I’m not getting my ticket tonight. Let’s do this. I go to the hotel, I sleep until 6am and wake up. I will call the front desk and they will delightfully tell me about the plane ticket waiting for me to come pick up. I’ll skip down to the lobby after my 6 wonderful hours of sleep, pickup my ticket and be on my merry way.”

He tells me that I’ll have to meet Mr. Rishi at 6am in the Domestic terminal. He writes down all of the instructions. 6am, Splendid, there goes another hour of sleep. I’m done to 5 now.

In India, I quickly learned that you really have to be very specific. Don’t assume anything! For example, I ask the agent how I’m getting to the hotel. Oh, I will get you a cab. Are you paying for the cab? Uh, yes. One second, let me get you a voucher. How about my ride back from the hotel to airport? Oh, okay. I will get you that voucher too. It’s not hot enough to be hell, but I re-examine where I’ve really landed once again. Nope, it’s Delhi.

Off to the cabs we go. The first thing I notice, is just how crowded this place is. People are literally shoulder-to-shoulder. I think to myself, no wonder this is a pick-pockets haven. I strategically have my wallet, passport and other valuables in areas in front of me, in an area where I will feel any sort of contact. I think you know where I mean. Wink [;)]

As the agent is leading me out to a cab, I feel something tugging on my pull-cart luggage. I quickly look over and see this very dingy, old man with both of his hands around my luggage smiling and grunting as he tries to pull my luggage away from me. I forcefully instruct him to let go of my bags before I assault him. He doesn’t understand. I tell the Cathay agent that if he doesn’t get Old-Man Stinky off my bag, there will be a scene. He quickly attends to the problem and forces the old man away. I take 4, maybe 5 steps forward and I feel tugging on my bag again. Guess, who’s baaa-ck?

“Let me be extremely clear, old man. I do not want you touching my bag, or anything of mine. Let go of my bag rightnow, or I will lay you flat on your back. You don’t seem to understand my English, or his Hindi. Perhaps you’ll understand a swift, right hook. Deepok, make him understand the severity of the situation. If this happens a third time, I won’t be consulting you on a resolution.”

My brain the whole time has been yelling at me, “It’s a distraction. Keep your eyes on your valuables.” Nothing was taken. He just wanted to load my bags into the cab so I would give him some money. I understand the poverty and hardships over there, but yanking my luggage out of my hand, throwing it into the cab without asking me if this is what I want, then holding out your hand doesn’t work with me. I am very generous with my money, especially for those in need. But this was just a scam. A hard lesson? Perhaps. I certainly don’t want to endorse, or encourage this kind of behavior to be rewarded.

It is very late and the cars in India are incredibly small. I mean, really, really small. A Ford Focus would stick out like a Hummer here. It’s also very dark. I pull up under the canopy of the hotel lobby and taxi drop-off area. The doorman opens my door, unloads my bags, and I give him a tip of 100 rupees. That’s only $2 USD. However, it’s about 10 times what is normally given. Not bad for opening a door and unloading a single luggage bag. The lobby is … nice, but not Hilton quality as far as I am concerned. I’m in India, standards are a little different I guess.

After I register, I take the elevator up to the second floor. I’m in room 201. As the doors open I am greeted with holes in the opposite walls stained by something that looks like severe water damage. No word of a lie, the hotels in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina were in better shape than this place. This certainly can’t be my floor. Maybe it was floor 20, room 1. I examine the number of floors available on the elevator keypad. It only goes up to floor 11. Super. This must be me.

My room is the first one on the left. The door resembles that of a bathroom door you would expect to find in a home built in the early 1900′s. Very thin, warped, doesn’t really close all the way. I’m holding the key, yes an actual key. Not an electronic key card like those you would find in any hotel in North America, a real key. I hold it inches from the keyhole to my door. I look down at the warped door and can easily see inside the room. I hesitate and decide to nudge the locked door with my shoulder. It opens without a fight. I lift my head and scan the room. I am frozen by what I see. The bathroom is beyond disgusting. There is mildew and some other substance, that I was unable to identify, hanging off the shower head. The tiles were that 1970′s green, but were thoroughly covered with brown grunge. The ceiling was partially exposed, insulation hanging from the broken tiles. The bed, simply frightening. I curled up on top of my luggage, in my clothes, wallet and all other valuable in my pockets, and fell asleep within seconds. On the bright side, I didn’t see any bugs or roaches. The key being, I didn’t see any.

I haven’t even arrived into Pune yet. It doesn’t get any better. Tune in to Part 4 to see how it works out.

Written by Terry Blanchard \\ tags: , ,